RED GREEN YELLOW

Oh hello. The following is an exhibition of digital collage created across depressive episodes in an attempt to destigmatize, educate, and redirect pity into compassion. Depression is an invisible disability that inexplicably makes simple tasks challenging, sucks up all your energy, causes physical pain, and robs you of joy. When you live with an invisible disability, your suffering is not easily apparent to those around you and when it’s noticed, it is rarely understood.

Each collage in this collection reflects a lyric from Aimee Mann’s 2002 album Lost in Space, which Jenelle first discovered during her early teens at the onset of her chronic depression. Each set of collages is paired with a short cover of the song. Thank you for your time.

 

This will take about 15 minutes. It is best experienced on a computer and with headphones.
Accessibility: each image features alt text for for guests who are blind or have low vision.

01 - HUMPTY DUMPTY

 
Collage, manicured monster hands hold woman’s head together with repetitive facial features
 
 
Collage, exhausted woman in glamorous bathroom peers at a beautiful, familiar reflection
 

02-HIGH ON SUNDAY 51

 
Collage, woman wrapped in tape plummets through linear vortex. Text: Wouldn’t you want to be who you had been?
 

03-LOST IN SPACE

 
Collage, vague religious vestige behind manicured hand covering scared woman’s mouth
 
 
Collage, woman trapped in box of water crying watches herself sleep
 

 06-PAVLOV’S BELL

 
Collage, woman excessively restrains docile man on unknown planet
 

07-REAL BAD NEWS

Collage, woman trapped by robot in similar position as woman attacking man
 
Collage, woman in plastic bag wearing space helmet struggles to carry a feather. Text: This big ball of sad isn’t worth even filling with air.
 

09-TODAY’S THE DAY

 
Collage, strong woman carries weaker version of herself in outer-space. Text: do what you do til it buries you.
 
 
Collage, woman attacked my manicured hands seeks help from a skeleton space crew. Text: Wondering aloud if help is on the way.
 

11-IT’S NOT

 
Collage, image of woman without pupils being choked by manicured hand repeats three times. Text: red turns into green turning into yellow.
 
 
Collage, bound and gagged woman being packed into a shipping crate by manicured hands. Text: But I’m not.
 
 
 

THANK YOU + RESOURCES

Thank you so much for taking the time to get this far. This work is dedicated to all my best friends living with MDD, GAD, BDD, BpD, because community is everything when all you feel is alone. Learn more about depression from National Alliance on Mental Illness.

Listen to Lost In Space on YouTube, Spotify, or Apple Music

MAJOR DEPRESSIVE DISORDER FACTS & STATS

About
MDD is a condition that is more than occasional sadness, involving extended periods of hopelessness, lethargy, emptiness, helplessness, irritability, and problems focusing or concentrating. Depression is a medical condition informed by a chemical, biological, and structural imbalance that impacts mood regulation. There are many contributing factors to depression, and no one factor accounts for the symptoms of depression.

Expressions
• Persistent feelings of sadness, emptiness, helplessness, worthlessness or guilt
• Loss of interest in activities that were previously pleasurable
• Low energy or fatigue
• Difficulty concentrating
• Changes in weight
• Sleep disruptions
• Chronic fatigue
• Body aches, sensitivity to pain, digestion issues
• Headaches, vision issues
• A major depressive episode (MDE) lasts a minimum of 2 weeks, but can last as long as months

Stats
• Depression is the leading cause of disability in the U.S. among adults 15-44 effecting 18% of people each year
• Women are nearly twice as likely as men to have depression. Half of all transgender & gender fluid people experience depression or anxiety
• Of those experiencing a MDE, 63.8% of adults had severe impairment to their regular lives
• The experience of COVID has caused a significant uptick in mental illness. In a June 2020 study, 40% of U.S. adults reported signs of anxiety and/or depression
• 20% of people who survive severe cases of COVID may develop a mental illness & are 2x more likely to develop a mood or anxiety disorder for the very first time
• Of all mood disorders Major Depressive Disorder and Generalized Anxiety Disorder have the highest rate of comorbidity, or living with 2+ mental illnesses
• Up to 67% of people with lifetime GAD also experience MDD & up to 48% of people with MDD experience GAD